The Most Random Rant Ever
by hamxham
Summary: Well, not really. But considering that Rin is practically famous for her ninja-like abilities to veer onto tangents, it just might be. Some ranting from Rin about nosebleeds, oranges, shotas, and elephants. T for a perverted comment ;P


**A/N:** I wanted to type something really badly. :)

EDIT 8/1/10: minor fixes made.

**Disclaimer:** Star light, star bright, first start I see tonight... I wish I might, I wish I may, own Vocaloid some other day...

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:[:The Most Random Rant Ever:]:

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Hi! I'm Rin!

…

…

…

Um, hello? Aren't you going to introduce yourself?

…

Oh, right. I'm typing into a computer. Computers can't talk. Silly me. :)

Wait, just kidding. Computers CAN talk! I always remember that annoying voice that goes, "Virus database has been updated." I mean, it's SOOOO irritating. By the time the voice goes off, I've already started watching anime and the voice totally ruins the mood. Seriously. Observe:

"_Sakura…"_

"_Hai?"_

"_Ore wa…"_

"…_Eh?"_

"_Ore wa… Sakura o…"_

_BRRRRINNNNG! "VIRUS DATABASE HAS BEEN UPDATED!"_

F.A.I.L.

F*ing. A*holes. In. Love.

I even asked Len to disable the darn program (I'm not good with computers.) But he was like, nuuu, can't do that, since your computer will get bugs and stuff. But I argued that it kept messing up my anime. And then he told me that anime was stupid and I should just give up a few seconds of it and wait for the voice to pass. So I told him he was stupid too and went to Kaito's for an ice cream party to vent my anger.

The party was really fun. It was me, him, and his teddy bear. We watched Veggie Tales. Kaito seemed to get a lot more out of it than me, but maybe it's just because I don't like cucumbers much.

After the show was over, Kaito asked why I was so pissed. I said I didn't remember, since I didn't. Veggie Tales had slightly brainwashed me. But then when Kaito saw a spider and started freaking out, I remembered again. But I didn't like spiders much, either, so I promptly left. I heard that Kaito had to call Miku over to kill the spider because it was really big and scary. From what I can remember, it was about as big as a grain of rice. But nevertheless, I kind of feel bad for leaving him there.

Kind of.

Thinking back now, Len was right about the virus protection thing, since bugs are icky. I remember that one time that my orange had a bug in it. It was really disgusting. I think I died a bit on the inside. Maybe it was the front part of my brain that died. That's what Len says, anyways. He says my communication skills are a bit unusual. Psht, like his aren't. At least I don't get all stuttery and crap in front of girls... er, well, in my case, guys.

Except for Mikou, though. He told me it was cute when I stuttered. So I try to stutter as much as possible in front of him. But it's kind of weird, since we're practically childhood friends. Then again, how often does a cute guy call you cute?

That's right.

But then again, Mikuo isn't _that_ cute. I think. Except that one time... I'll tell you later. But I mean, he's Miku's twin. And Miku's my best friend. If I thought he was cute, then doesn't that mean I also think Miku is cute?

But… I'm straight! I swear!

Mikuo always says I'm not though. He told me that he has a picture of me and Miku kissing. I told him that it was only because we were little and immature and thought that kissing was cute. He told me that it happened when we were 15.

I shut up.

But then, with my awesome retaliation skills, I told him that I had a picture of him kissing Len. He said he never did. But I really had one. I carry it around in my wallet and look at it all the time. It's so cute.

Only, it was photoshopped.

But don't tell him that, okay?

And it's not that I'm obsessed with him or Len. I just have a shota fetish! And it's not my fault that those two are the ultimate shotas! I can't help that one's my brother and the other is my best friend's brother, can I?

The other day, my friend Neru told me that Mikuo and Luki had a thing with each other. I said I didn't believe her. Mikuo and Len were always together, he wouldn't have time for Luki. But Neru just shook her head and told me the same thing again. So I said, okay fine, I believe you. But I only said that since she was such a good friend.

Come to think of it, she and Miku are the only two girls that still talk to me. I asked Neru why, and she told me it was because I talked too much, too random, and too fast. I was really surprised. I mean, I thought everyone could improvise a five-page speech and finish it in under 30 seconds. But apparently not.

She also told me I had a reputation for my ranting skills. I was surprised at that too. She told me that I was known as "The girl who veers onto tangents like a ninja." That made me smile. I like ninjas. I like tangents too. It sounds like tangerines. And tangerines are like oranges, which I like a lot. Hehe.

Speaking of oranges, orange juice just got on my shorts. Ew. Maybe I shouldn't eat while using the computer, but that's not fair because Len does it all the time. Stupid how bananas don't drip stuff, but now my pants are all wet and sticky…

Hehe… that sounded perverted…

Miku would probably slap me if she were here right now.

You know, Miku slaps pretty hard. It makes this big smack noise and leaves a huge red mark. Len had one on his face for weeks after he accidentally walked in on Miku changing.

I laughed at him and called him a pervert.

And then the next day I walked in on Mikuo in his boxers. I think it was karma. Thankfully, he doesn't slap people. He was all smirky and was like, like what you see? And then my nose started bleeding like crazy but I was really confused because he was obviously too far away to have punched my nose, and besides, I'm pretty sure I would've known if my nose was broken, because it would probably hurt.

So then Mikuo let me lay down on his bed while he got me an ice pack. And while I waited, I couldn't help but think that the bed smelled like him… it made me giggle. I wanted to flip over and burry my face in his pillow, but then I realized my nose was still bleeding and that it might get all over his bed, so I stayed still. I was kind of proud of myself for making the right choice.

Mikuo came back with the ice pack and put it on my face. It was really cold. Then he leaned over kind of close to my face and brushed away my strands of hair that stuck to the ice pack. All of a sudden it wasn't so cold anymore.

I think he ended up pulling a chair over and sitting next to the bed, but I couldn't really tell since the ice pack sort of blocked my view. It was getting kind of dark too. It was 8 pm when I got to their house, and at least half an hour had passed.

Mikuo fell asleep really soon, and my nose bleed stopped too. So I took off the ice pack and sat up. I saw Mikuo with his head on his arms leaning on the bed and I thought it was really really cute. So I kissed him. He didn't wake up, so I kissed him again.

He was so damn cute.

I started petting his head. His hair was really soft. It made me smile. Realizing that I may never ever be stuck in this position again, I kissed him a third time.

Hehe.

Some time later, I heard footstep coming up the stairway, and the door was suddenly opened. "Hey, Miku," I greeted, but she immediately shut the door again. What I weird girl.

But then, thanks to the light from the hallway when Miku opened the door, I realized that Mikuo was still only in his boxers, and my nosebleed started up again. So I lay back down and put the ice pack back on my face and fell asleep.

The next day I told Neru that if I were Cinderella, Mikuo would be my prince. Or Len, if he weren't my brother. She scoffed and told me that Cinderella was silly, and it was only for jumping rope.

And then I told her that elephants can't jump.

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**A/N:** in case anyone wonders, the last line is just Rin being random, and isn't meant as a comeback or anything to Neru's comment by um... implying something with non-fairytale believers and jumping rope and elephants? er, nevermind...

This was supposed to be LenxRin, but after suddenly reading so many MikuoxRin fics all of a sudden, I decided to let this story happen as it happened :P I wanted it to be longer, but I'm kinda tired of typing now... I've probably been sitting here for over 3 hours at this point xD


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